Maybe cars are coffins.

Today, on my way home from work I was nearly run over by a car.  I was nearly run over by a car as I was crossing the street, in the rain, after work, at the job I've been employed at for 8 years.  An old man, with distinguished, white hair nearly killed me with his nice car as I was crossing the street thinking to myself "what is my dharma, am I fulfilling my dharma, how will I know once I find it?"

I've been reading the Bhagavad Gita and listening to Ram Dass's commentary on the book lately so dharma and the fulfillment of it has been on my mind as of late.  Aside from the Dharma Initiative in the show LOST I never really thought about that word much.  But the idea of this cosmic duty that is personal and real strikes a chord in me more than any other spiritual mode has in a long time, maybe ever.  And I can't help but think that this near miss with the old, white haired, man wasn't some kind of wake up call or punctuation mark letting me know that my questioning is valid.

So what is my dharma?  Is it to write?  Make music?  Continue being a business analyst?  Is it to love?  To have children?  To play Hearthstone?  Is it something I've never even encountered yet?  Can it change over time?  Today's dharma could be music and expression, tomorrow's could be rest and contemplation, no?  

I'd rather not continue to almost be run over, but if another sign from the incarnation of my spiritual guru could be delivered that wouldn't be so bad.  Perhaps my awareness just needs fine tuning... 

Maybe the only way I'll really know is if in every action that I partake I inhabit that action fully and perform it to the best of my ability.  Even if that action is inaction, whatever it is I'm doing I need to do it without worry and without expectation of result.  I am not the doer but the vessel for action and as I sift through these daily actions the dharma of each individual action can be fulfilled and the truest, best action will shine through.  Hopefully.